you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
So vagazzling was a success
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
