At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
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