I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
