Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
