She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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