Pants 0. Shit 1.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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