Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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