Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
