i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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