Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
