you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
