I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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