Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
