you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
