Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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