did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
