I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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