Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize