I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
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I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
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Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.