Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.