Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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