Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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