So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
