I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
