Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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