is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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