we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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