Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
