Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
