I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
