Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize
