We named our party play list daddy issues
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
