It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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