The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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