I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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