Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Randomize
