I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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