garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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