Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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