We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
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but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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