If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
