All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
