I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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