it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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