So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
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