Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
