Sponge bath it is.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
