What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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