I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
