Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
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