I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
