That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
