Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
