Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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