Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
