All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
