Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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