The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
