it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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