the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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