Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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