Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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