my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
