Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
