i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
