champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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