brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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